Family psychologist's advice friendship respect mutual love.

This page groups useful advice from a family psychologist about personal relationships respect and mutual love. Advice on psychology is grouped and placed on several pages. The transition is made by clicking on the appropriate button: "CHILDREN" - consultations on the topic of "Children", starting from planning their conception, "RELATIONSHIPS" - advice on relationship issues, "SUCCESS" - on self-development and success, "HEALTH" - consultations related to the topic of beauty and health, "HAPPINESS" - advice on the path to happiness. "QUESTIONS" transition to the form where you can ask a question. "TESTS" - testing section.

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To create a happy successful family, you need to study the advice of psychologists on the successful choice of a husband or wife. A husband or wife should ideally be a friend, like-minded person, lover and life partner. The advice of a family psychologist to women and men on creating a happy family: "first you need to develop the qualities of respect and love in yourself, and only then look for a partner." For a successful choice, you need to take into account the spiritual level of your partner, his "professional" group, his temperament, his "digital" portrait. Of course, an ideal choice is impossible. But having knowledge and understanding your partner, you can live an interesting and harmonious life.

How to create a harmonious and happy family?

In order to create a good family, you need to be a "good" egoist and try to choose the best possible partner for yourself. The best in terms of spiritual qualities, character and other characteristics. So that the children will be better later.

Advice on developing respect and love "between a husband and wife there should be love, friendship, respect and carnal desire". If there is only carnal desire between people, this is a very unstable relationship. Passion lives for a maximum of three years. Only material values can maintain such a relationship for some time.

A higher level of relationship is when spouses are friends. It is believed that the best option for creating a family is when a couple starts with friendship, and then, after the blessing of their parents, moves on to sex.

An even higher level is when the couple has respect. Respect, friendship and sex later give the opportunity to develop a feeling called love. The probability of building a relationship at the level of respect is no higher than 20%. But at this level of relationships, there are few "daredevils" of 3-4 levels of development, ready to lose the respect, friendship and sex of their partner for the sake of dubious pleasure.

How to choose a wife or husband for life?

In order to make the right choice, knowledge, experience and wisdom of the ages are needed. "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor, and if they fall, each one can lift up his companion!" (Ecclesiastes 4:9). The Song of Songs praises the friendship of a married couple: “My beloved is like this, my friend is like this” (5:16).

On the problem of infantilism in young people.

Advice from a family psychologist to girls about problems in relationships with peers “remember the serious problem of infantilism in young people.” They usually do not take responsibility. Passion, that is, sex, is not love. It passes, but so does the most valuable thing a girl has for a man – youth. “Passion cannot be friends with deep love, If it can, then they will not be together for long,” wrote Omar Khayyam.

The problem of male infantilism is becoming more and more serious every year. The reasons are different: an only child, upbringing without a father, upbringing by a grandmother. The main reason is upbringing without knowledge of how to do it correctly. Girls and women should remember that the main problem of infantilism is the lack of responsibility of young people.

What are the secrets of creating a happy family and household?

The basic secret is that each person is at a certain level of development xcharacter and such spiritual qualities as: trust, honesty, respect, love. In the simplest version of a family of two people, one is usually at least a minimal level higher than the other. And sometimes the difference is significant, and then the one who is lower in level pulls down the one who is higher in level. Where there is love and respect, there is an equalization of levels due to the raising of the low level to the average and higher. Where there is no love and respect, the use of violence occurs.

A husband must love his wife as himself. A wife must have true respect for her husband. Below this level it is very difficult to create a happy family.

What is the optimal age difference between a man and a woman?

Psychologist's advice on the optimal age difference between a man and his wife - the best age difference between a man and his wife is 7-14 years. In this case, it is easier to overcome crisis periods, in particular the crisis of 40 years. It is known that this crisis covers the period of 40-50 years for almost 66% of men and women. In the case of a difference of 10 years, a man enters a crisis at 40 years old, and his wife is 30 years old, and the children are no more than 10. This format of the family gives him the strength to bypass it. Then the wife enters a crisis at 40 years old. Moreover, many women are superimposed on another crisis. The children are already grown. At that time, the man begins a very good 12-year period, and he helps his wife get through her two gray stripes.

In the case when the difference is small, we have a situation when two people enter a crisis. The children are grown. And a breakup occurs. Of course, the purely sexual potential of a couple of the same age is better than with a difference of 14 years.

For men, the best period for choosing a wife is 25-33 years. After 30 years, problems with the search begin. They start looking among seventeen-year-old girls, and they still think about their peers. As a result, normal men with a decent income and living conditions enjoy a stable single life.

How to achieve mutual love?

The highest level of harmony in the family is mutual love. Useful advice from a family psychologist for women and men about love "for mutual love, two hearts and two energies are needed - male and female." The only question is how to open the heart and fill it with the energy of love. The love of a man gives the power of youth and beauty to a woman, and the love of a woman gives the power and success to a man. In order to achieve mutual love, knowledge is needed.

How to deal with manifestations of selfishness in the family?

An important secret is the psychological technologies of balancing the qualities of love and selfishness. Ancient philosophers wrote that it is difficult to cope with women, children and servants. When you bring them closer, they become rebellious, and when you take them away, they complain. A family psychologist's advice to parents on the balance of love and selfishness: "don't "pump" selfishness to your children and people close to you." Look for a point of distancing feelings.